Choice & Fate

Last night, my father and I were having a conversation while driving to pick up food from a sub shop. We were rehashing the same old thing, which if you’ve read anything from this blog you already know what it is.

Finding a job seems excruciating difficult for me, out of a mixture of self-sabotage and just not being the right match. I wonder if it’ll ever happen, because the job I’ve kept the longest was seasonal, meaning I’m semi-unemployed.

My father’s response is that this is the perfect time to freelance and pursue dreams. The question is simply do what?

According to him, it’s the one thing you know you’ve wanted to do. It’s the thing you refuse to let yourself think about. And the universe is metaphorically holding your feet to the fire until you acknowledge what you want to do.

My actions affirm this belief because I couldn’t answer his question regarding the one thing I know I’ve been wanting to try. Everything’s been moved out of the way enough to where it’s hard to ignore. Semi-unemployed, living in your family’s household, and given nothing but time.

I know what it is, or the few things it could be. But the name(s) of the thing(s) is just elusive.

What do I do about this? What can I do? I hope to be able to articulate the thing(s) I’ve been wanting to do confidently.

Have you ever felt a tug towards something you’ve wanted to do? What is the “tug?” Did you do it? Why/ Why not?

Good night!