Heyy sleepies, it’s kmuanblog again! Welcome to Keeps Me Up at Night, the blog where I talk about whatever’s aching in my soul in the quiet night instead of sleeping.
A lot goes on. We missed Valentine’s Day. So this is my belated Happy Valentine’s Day to you!
Sometimes I gotta remind myself that life is worth living. Not in the sense of not wanting to live anymore, but in the sense that you gotta create a life worth living for.
You have to have things you look forward to. You must have something you have a passion for. You must have something that motivates you to get up in the morning or something that keeps you going through the night.
And I gotta say it’s been difficult to pursue that. Something to look forward to is hard. I used to go hard for most calendar holidays — Halloween, Christmas, Valentine’s. But since entering my mid-20’s being an adult has made life harden to whimsy.
Sometimes Valentine’s Day is another Friday. Sometimes Halloween falls on a Tuesday instead of the weekend. And other plans and holidays can fall through on you. Sometimes it can be difficult.
Sometimes there is nothing to look forward to except another day. There is beauty in the mundane. But sometimes you really forget and everything’s gray.
Valentine’s had me super aware that if not for family and the need to work, I’d be pretty solitary. A lot of my angst comes from having lost the social infrastructure of being a student. And losing friends. And groups drifting apart. It’s all kind of raw for me.
Part of me was certain I’d be one of those people who never got over high school, except swap it for undergrad college. And yet here I am beyond undergrad doing something else. That’s amazing.
You have to love the life you’re living. Or change bits of your life until it’s one you’d love to live. You have to be your #1, the light of your life, the cream of your corn 🌽, whoever said that.
You have to love who you are even if you are not perfect. No one really is, except Beyonce. And Michael Jackson. They are perfect in the eyes of our Lord & Savior Kim Seokjin.
Anyways. I want to wish you a happy Valentine’s Day. Love yourself because you’re You. and you are so lovable. And you are loved. And there are so many people who you haven’t even met who are gonna lovvvve you.
Happy belated Valentine’s Day weekend. Here’s a stack of shit-quality memes. I love you ♥️
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