2019 Reflection

I meant to post this before the new year, but I still want to take time and reflect on my first year as a non-student since grade school.

2019 was a wild year for me. I spent my senior year trying to soak up as many college experiences as possible, knowing that the good times are coming to a dismal end. I graduated from college aware that I was going to land in the real world as a graduate with no job or internship waiting for me.

I was not having a good time, but I at least had access to the internet and good music. Both became a means of information and escapism. For months, I would wake up and spend the day applying for jobs. When the strain of receiving rejection email after email became too much, I’d get up and dance to my favorite songs. I wrote a whole series commemorating the songs that got me through the rest of 2019.

The conundrum was this: I just spent four years in college on degree but could not get a job in my own field yet. So my mother shifted my job search to positions that didn’t require a BA in public relations. Part-time retail, customer service, front desk receptionist, bank teller, any kind of assistant. Then grocery stores, fast food, and the local amusement park.

I found work in fast food again, but my mother believed a job at the local amusement park alongside my sister was better. Eventually, I got a call from them and got the job, only for my mother to remark that I should’ve kept the fast food job.

The later half of the summer I worked in admissions taking and scanning guests’ passes in partial shade. I worked along a mix of teenagers, teachers, older men and women, and college-aged people. The co-workers were funny and positive people. The guests might not always have been but that wouldn’t bother me once I left the park.

Fall rolled slowly moved in. Teenagers and teachers went back to school as did my sister,who is in college. I obviously stayed. The park began to transition into their haunt attractions and that was one of my favorite parts of this year.

I was excited for Halloween in August. People would deem this weird, but there are people who get excited for Christmas in May. The fact that the park had haunt attractions fueled my excitement for Halloween. I made a playlist, brainstormed Halloween costumes and kept a schedule of the retro horror films being screened at the nearest theater each weekend I had to work. Not to mention I made this post about horror films.

November went by as a normal month. My spooky phase actually continued past Thanksgiving when I finally watched (the wrongfully cancelled) The Curious Creations of Christine McConnell. That show is so quirky, funny and inspiring, that I rekindled my embroidery hobby.

The park had a long and cold holiday attraction, which has obviously come to a close. As of now the park is going out of season until the Spring. I’m starting 2020 with no work and student loans about to come out of deferment.

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This year changed me as a person. It made me uncomfortable with the self-imposed comfort zone I stayed within during high school and college. I realized that doing the same thing over and over and expecting something different is insanity. [change].

I also realized that at 22 years old a small percentage of humanity had their lives figured out. And it’s unrealistic to expect me to now, or by 30 years old. Very few people are blessed enough to know what they’re here to do so soon.

In order to find it, I have to out and “try sh*t” to summarize Gary Vaynerchuk. I have to exhaust every option before I find something. Try things to find likes, dislikes, interests and hidden talents. That’s something not everyone gets to do early on, but I believe it shows up at the right time for everyone.

So with that being said, that is the direction I’m going in for 2020. I’m going to try everything and see what works and what doesn’t.

Thank you for reading, and good night!